Comments on: China: So Many Little Emperors

By: Daniel Noll

Daniel Noll — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 06:33:06 +0000

@Pearl: Yes, this is the crux of this piece and apparently of this syndrome — the sense (or lack thereof) of interdependence and that there’s more to the world than just “me”.

By: Pearl

Pearl — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 20:01:35 +0000

This is a really interesting concept, one I’d like to read more about. I grew up with three brothers, and there were many good things about it, but on the conceptual level it was a constant education in learning that I wasn’t the most important person in the world, that other people’s needs and concerns were just as legitimate as mine, and that compromise was usually the best way to get something done.

By: Daniel Noll

Daniel Noll — Sun, 16 May 2010 21:44:06 +0000

@Ari: Thank you for a very thoughtful comment. I often wonder what thoughts are passing through parents’ and childrens’ heads when I see this sort of behavior. It’s interesting to hear a rather objective and introspective analysis from an actual parent. On an individual level, I’m sure parenting and raising children is difficult. What’s more difficult, though, is raising a society. Thank you again.

By: Ari

Ari — Sun, 16 May 2010 04:58:25 +0000

On the face of it China would certainly lead the syndrome! But it is an international epidemic; In western society, our equivalent is the middle child syndrome !! For a long I know I did not want to admit that it could be a plausible rationalization for my child’s disrespectful & intolerable behaviour; not wanting to pigeon hole him with a label !!
Parents don’t have to contend to a “balancing act” nor should parents of multiple children be constantly struggling. But we must understand each of our children are unique individuals, is an absolute.
Back to middle child syndrome ‘Jonah the Greats shared thought’ defines a seriously huge dilemma for the little emperor or middle child to fathom they are “given a false sense of entitlement”
Unlike Chinese parents I have not ran after or allowed my children, to misinterpret our parent / child relationship. Consideration for others is not to be mocked. Though, my middle son demonstrates contemptible emperor child / middle child syndrome. He has an older brother whom would things for him to make him happy- fearing he may get into trouble if his baby brother was upset!; an when his younger brother came along, he then got him to run after him when his older brother didn’t.
It is in hindsight, that this is given cause in part only.
My 2 eldest boys are both young adults now, and my youngest manchild is in his last adolescent year before he officially becomes a teen.
My emperor child is in no way prepared for a life outside the protection of his home, but his ‘self imposed entitlements’ leave him no social skills at all.
His disciplined focus has been on him, he is a brilliant performer and finds solace in the manipulation of others. He is a lovely boy, when he wants to be. But eight tenths of his time, he struggles to understand why he is not fitting in anywhere. It is important they understand the life of another is as precious as their own, and through respecting others, leads everyone to a more fulfilling outcome than if we were to manipulate others for the service of one.
Its terrible to think that China in a National capacity have given rise to a nation of like children, and very afraid !!

By: Audrey Scott

Audrey Scott — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:38:42 +0000

Three brothers! I can see a lot of compromise and sharing attention with that. I’m not a parent, but I can only imagine the balancing act parents of only and multiple children must constantly struggle with.

What’s also interesting is that families are now allowed to have a second child if the first is a girl – there was an imbalance of girls/boys in the first generation because parents were choosing to keep their boys and not their girls when only one child was allowed. It’s created a new “power” for girls. Also, it’s now “hip” for urban parents to have two or more kids – it’s like a sign that they are wealthy enough to pay the government fines. I’m sure the literature on this will only increase.

By: Theresa

Theresa — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:48:05 +0000